Some things to consider: Are you happy with your work? I mean the actual work you do, not your "job." Does it feel like your "calling," like you truly "belong" in that line of work? Does your work environment make you want to be at work? If the answer is no, it might be time to evaluate your situation. I ended up doing just that, and in the process pretty much had to "reinvent myself." I went from being someone close to a "corporate type" to being a self-employed writer. I took a 70% pay cut. Voluntarily. And made an according adjustment to my lifestyle. At first it seemed both frightening and daunting. It continues to be a challenge, in many ways. But looking back, I would not have made a different choice-- except to have undertaken the change years earlier! If you want to "look before you leap," there are now some helpful tools out there-- in the form of books, and life coaches who specialize in helping HSPs. I especially recommend "Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person" by Barrie Jaeger, as well as Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way." Both are excellent guides for HSPs in search of work happiness. |
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Work Lifestyle Relationships Therapy Personal Growth HSP Resources On Being Gifted The Gifted Adult Characteristics Special Issues Blessing or Curse? Commentary Gifted Resources On Being Introverted Inward Journey Outward Journey Shyness & Introversion Finding Self Introvert Resources On Personality Types C.G.Jung Myers-Briggs The Enneagram ANSIR Socionics Others On Psychology, etc. Counseling & Therapy Abnormal Psych? Choosing a Therapist On Life, in General Thoughts Words Images Dreams & Wishes Commentaries Putting it All Together Dedications & Thanks A Gallery of Links |
Work and the Highly Sensitive Person |
I think HSPs often face challenges in their work life-- and this is almost inevitably an extension of their "being a little different." That has certainly been very true for me, and I know a large number of other HSPs for whom the issue of "work" continues to be a major concern, and is often seen as a sort of "stumbling block" on the road to happiness. I believe there are a number of fundamental traits to the HSP psyche that essentially clash with most conventional work environments. Here are a few: Most jobs are competitive, in one way or another-- most HSPs are not competitive, by nature. Most jobs are "sales" oriented-- sell an idea, sell a product, sell yourself-- most HSPs are uncomfortable with the idea of "pushing" something on another. Most jobs reward aggression and "loudness," most HSPs are non-aggressive and subtle. Many jobs only reward accomplishment monetarily, most HSPs need acknowledgement to be happy. |
These are just a few examples, to give you an idea-- perhaps you can think of a list of your own. I know there are many more I can apply to my own work life, which has definitely been a bumpy ride. I spent many years in a "conventional" job, eventually running an import and retail business that was mostly focused on sales, marketing and advertising. It was a very "public" and, as such, high-stress job for me. At first, I had just been one of five "principals" in the business, but I suppose it was that HSP tendency to be "responsible" to a fault that compelled me to keep going, even though the other partners were quietly dropping out, one by one. Eventually-- by "default"-- I ended up in the very position I the least wanted to hold: Being the owner, and in charge of it all. |
2003.06.23 2005.07.09 |
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In some ways, my situation actually clashed with some HSP-wisdom-- in the sense that many HSPs find happiness in self-employment. However, self-employment, when it becomes fairly large scale and involves many responsibilities and people, can reach a point where it no longer serves as a "safe haven" to work in, but instead becomes a stressful nightmare of logistics, people management, long hours and other overwhelming factors that make it very little different from a conventional high stress job. But there's an essential difference: in a situation where you work for someone else, at least you get to go home and forget about it. When you're managing a business with employees, your mind never "gets the day off." The "secret" (Which I did not know about, at the time) is to avoid getting trapped in the conventional paradigm that "success" means that you must keep working harder, and you must keep the business growing. For an HSP, it is often a better option to just stay with a scale of work that feels within your comfort zone. However, it is also essential that your starting point is with work that feels like a "calling" to you. |
Who are you working for, anyway? Around age 35, I had what some would describe as a "mid-life crisis." For me, it was more of a "mid-life epiphany." I came to the sudden-- and not very pleasant-- realization that I wasn't working for me, I was working for "the world." Now, I don't mean that in terms of what I was actually doing, but in terms of what my "work purpose" was. I was working at something because it was "what was expected of me." I didn't actually want to be there. I didn't actually care about the trappings of success. They were there because "Isn't that what everyone does?" "Yes, but I'm just doing it because I need the money." That's a nice idea, and one that often has some validity for non-HSPs. However, it is a "soul killer" for an HSP. Almost without exception, all the HSPs I have met have been more oriented towards non-monetary rewards than income. HSPs get much of their "reward" from working through recognition, acknowledgment and the "connections" they make with other people. Persisting "just for the money" is a form of drudgery for an HSP that can easily lead to both depression and illness. |
Some things to consider: Are you happy with your work? I mean the actual work you do, not your "job." Does it feel like your "calling," like you truly "belong" in that line of work? Does your work environment make you want to be at work? If the answer is no, it might be time to evaluate your situation. I ended up doing just that, and in the process pretty much had to "reinvent myself." I went from being someone close to a "corporate type" to being a self-employed writer. I took a 70% pay cut. Voluntarily. And made an according adjustment to my lifestyle. At first it seemed both frightening and daunting. It continues to be a challenge, in many ways. But looking back, I would not have made a different choice-- except to have undertaken the change years earlier! If you want to "look before you leap," there are now some helpful tools out there-- in the form of books, and life coaches who specialize in helping HSPs. I especially recommend "Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person" by Barrie Jaeger, as well as Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way." Both are excellent guides for HSPs in search of work happiness. |
The seeming contrast between outer feedback and inner feelings can be confusing. I spent many years projecting the appearance of someone who was "successful" in their job. Stable employment, good pay, nice house, owner of a respected-- and even awarded-- business admired in the community, employees who liked me. Sounds like I should have been happy, doesn't it? But I wasn't. Most days, I actually dreaded going to work. I felt so out of place, and like what I was doing "just wasn't ME." On top of that, my ostensible "success" didn't feel like anything-- it mostly left me with a dull, empty and meaningless "so what" feeling. Eventually, those feelings also turned into disappointment and a sense that something was "wrong" with me: After all, how "dare" I "have the gall" to feel unhappy when I had what 95% of the people only dream about? |
