I believe there is a great value for HSPs in "making contact" and getting a kind of "Peer Counseling" from other HSPs. The reason I recommend this so highly, is that so many HSPs have spent a large part of their lives feeling like an "odd duck," and perhaps even feeling "all alone" and misunderstood. Learning about the trait, in and of itself, may be eye-opening but does little to actually change the perception that you're "different." However, engaging and interacting with other HSPs can provide a tremendous confidence boost and some much needed validation. When we learn that there are scores of others who have had similar experiences we no longer feel so isolated. My own experiences with HSP Groups online have been nothing but positive and rewarding, so I highly recommend getting involved!
As the concept of being a Highly Sensitive Person has grown, so have the available resources and information on the Internet. Whereas there are 100s of HSPs who have personal and business web sites, this page is actually limited to how to make contact with other HSPs online, through discussion groups, message boards, mailing lists and so forth. (If you're interested in HSP-owned web sites, there is a large collection of them in the "Links Gallery").
"I feel really nervous and awkward about this.... what would I say?" As HSPs, we may have grown accustomed to the idea that "confessing" our HSP-ness will earn us a negative reaction, nervous laughter, or even just get us dismissed as "imagining things." In addition, we may feel uncomfortable about a "group setting," worried about becoming overwhelmed, or simply feel too shy to say much around a group of people. That's perfectly OK!
The "Gentle art of Lurking." Many people join groups and for a while they only read what other people have to say, until they establish that it really is a "safe" environment-- and only then do they start participating and interacting. Others jump right in and introduce themselves. How far you want to take this type of interaction is, of course, up to you-- but I know a fair number of HSPs who have used online groups as a way to find and meet other HSPs living in their town, and have made new friends as a result of their online experience.
Here then, are descriptions and links to some of the major "HSP Communities" on the web. If you click on a link, it will open a new browser window.
"Sensitive People" is another HSP "general" discussion and support group that's part of the YahooGroups network. It has been around since May of 2000 and has a little over 200 members. The format is similar to "hspbook," although not moderated.
"Highly Sensitive Singles" is an international discussion group for single HSPs, and is also part of the YahooGroups network. Although it is not really a "matchmaking" group, the focus of the discussions is usually on the various aspects of romantic relationships, and how they affect HSPs. The group has about 400 members; activity level varies.
"HSCbook" is an international email discussion list is for readers of the book, "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Elaine Aron. The goal of the list is to explore what it is to be a highly sensitive parent of a highly sensitive child and to support one another as highly sensitive persons. It is a requirement that you have read or are in the midst of reading the book when you join the list. Fairly active group, founded in April 2003.
"HSP Wellness" is a group for HSPs with health concerns, especially disorders which HSPs tend to get such as fibromyalgia, allergies, chronic fatigue, depression, anxiety and other stress related "diseases". We are mostly interested in taking a holistic and natural approach, but you are welcome to share any kind of information that you have personally found helpful. Founded in October 2000, activity is limited/sporadic.
HSP Groups in the US with a Local or Regional Focus:
The Boston and New England States HSP Group is a local and regional discussion group for HSPs in the Boston area, as well as around the New England States. Formed in September 2003.
The Denver and Colorado State HSP Group is a local and statewide discussion group for HSPs in the Denver area, and around the state of Colorado. Formed in September 2003.
The Great Lakes States HSP Group is a regional discussion group for HSPs in the US Great Lakes states, including (but not limited to) Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Minnesota, Ohio & Wisconsin. Formed in September 2003.
The New York HSP Group is a local discussion group for HSPs in the New York City area, including northern New Jersey. Formed in September 2003. Now also has its own free standing web site, with information about the HSP trait, updates on NY HSP events.
The Northeast HSP Group is a regional discussion group for HSPs in the Northeastern USA, including (but not limited to) Delaware, Maryland, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and the Washington DC area. Formed in September 2003.
The San Francisco-Bay Area HSP group is one of the most active groups with a more "local" flavor, and has about 60 members. It's primarily an email group, but members also have "live" meetings in the Bay Area, every two weeks or so. Formed in March 2003.
The Seattle and Pacific Northwest HSP Group is one of the larger and more active regional groups, and has also served as a follow-up group for HSPs who have attended HSP Gatherings in Washington state and British Columbia. Formed in September 2003.
The Southwest States HSP Group is a regional discussion group for HSPs in the Southwestern USA, including (but not limited to) Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico and Utah. Formed in September 2003.
The Texas HSP Group is a discussion group for HSPs living in the "Lone Star State." This is a "reincarnation" of an earlier Texas group; this one formed in January 2008. Also has its own free standing web site.
International HSP Groups:
"Feel and Live Intense" is a DUTCH LANGUAGE HSP discussion group, mainly oriented towards HSPs in the Netherlands, where the Dutch version of "The Highly Sensitive Person" has become quite popular. Activity in the group seems limited; founded in December 2000.
"Highly Sensitive People in UK" is a UK-based discusion group for HSP's interested in forming a loose network, for support, information and to lessen the feelings of isolation we often have. Founded in March 2000, activity is somewhat sporadic.
"Hoog gevoelige mensen (HSP)" is a fairly active DUTCH LANGUAGE HSP discussion group that has been active since November 2002.
The New Zealand-Australian Highly Sensitive Person's Network is for people in New Zealand and Australia with the trait of high sensitivity as described by Dr Elaine Aron in her book, The Highly Sensitive Person. It aims to provide information about the trait of high sensitivity as well as provide a means for HSPs to get in touch with other HSPs for support and friendship. It is hoped that as awareness of the trait grows and numbers increase that workshops, local groups and annual gatherings may be organised in the future.
I am sure there are other HSP groups I have missed, so if you know of one that is not listed here (other than "subgroups" of hspbook) I would love to hear from you so I can add them to this page! Please use the "contact me" link at left to send me an email, and please make sure you include the complete URL (web address), as well as a brief description.
Thomas Eldridge's "Highly Sensitive Person" message board. This is a worldwide HSP Community with close to 5000 members. This community dates to 1998, but has gone through a number of "re-inventions"-- the site is currentlt offline and under redevelopment. It follows a "message board" format, and has a very supportive environment. Anybody can visit and read the messages-- if you want to answer postings, or ask questions of your own, you'll be asked to complete a simple registration. I have been one of the "moderators" of this community since the fall of 2002. (community temporarily closed)
The "hspbook" group on YahooGroups. Formed about 5-6 years ago, this is one of the oldest HSP groups on the web. The list started as a discussion group for people who had read "The Highly Sensitive Person," but has evolved into a general forum for all issues related to being an HSP. It has a little over 500 members and follows an "email format," but you can also read the messages on the web, in a "message board" format. HSPbook is "members only" but it's pretty simple to sign up, especially if you already have a Yahoo! ID. In addition to the "main" group, there are a number of "subgroups" covering a variety of subjects: HS Children, Spirituality, Writing, as well as a couple of "study groups" where members do "read-alongs" and discuss HSP-related books.
